I've already mentioned how much I adore my roommates. They're kind, funny, smart, and put up with me! What more could a girl ask for! So the title of the post may seem odd, even shocking. I should first point out the difference between a "horrifying roommate" and a "horrifying roommate experience." This post is about a particular moment in our lives as roommates, which honestly says more about me than anyone else. If you know me, you will understand exactly how this made me crazy.
Ellie, Lindsay, and I coexist quite well. Despite few square feet, only semi-opaque glass doors, and a solitary bathroom, we make it work. It'd even say we thrive. This particular post relates to the bathroom. We love our glass tiles and rain shower. We love our three separate medicine cabinets. We love the corner nook that provides a little extra storage space. And while we may not love it, we are very good at sharing the bathroom. We have dissimilar shower schedules, and we all leave for work at slightly different times, meaning there's rarely a line to use the bathroom.
So sharing is not the issue. What I should say, is that a lack of sharing is not the issue. In this case, sharing is exactly the issue.
I should mention that Ellie has been away for two weeks for work. The apartment was rather quiet without her, but that's a separate story. She finally returned late Saturday night. After catching up for a while she announced that she needed a shower. A feeling I can completely identify with; no one wants to go to sleep smelling like airplane. So she disappeared into the bathroom while I continued to Pinterest (not one of my wilder NYC Saturday nights).
She emerged some time later with a confession. She had taken her toothbrush into the shower before realizing she had grabbed mine by mistake. Ellie assured me that she realized her mistake and switched toothbrushes before it was too late, but mine was wet. Okay, I thought, this is fine. It’s just wet. It has not been in her mouth. So I brushed my teeth as if everything were normal, and then I went to bed.
Fast forward to the next morning. I wake up, bright-eyed and ready for bagels! Of course before we head to Essa for our Sunday bagel tradition, I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I notice my toothbrush in the opposite side of the toothbrush holder. Oh good gracious, what is happening, I think with panic. “Ellie,” I say with temerity while peaking my head out of the bathroom. “Which toothbrush is yours?”
But it gets worse.
I come to the realization that not only have I been sharing a toothbrush with my roommate, but Ellie’s boy friend shares a toothbrush with Ellie. So by the transitive property, I’ve been sharing a toothbrush with a strange man! I tried to play it cool. Just keep breathing, Emily; you can do this, I thought. Just laugh it off.
But we all know that at the very first opportunity, I ran across the street to the Walgreens and bought a two pack of the ugliest toothbrushes I could find. No chance we will mix our toothbrushes up now!
